a bit of sunshine...

quiet.

for the first time today the phone stopped ringing in the office and people have stopped passing through. it is that time of day when everyone goes home and i am here still in the peace and quiet. ahhhhhhhh.

off to chicago for the weekend to celebrate the hubby's birthday!

so my journey has continued despite my commitment issues to this blog.

running has becoming something i look forward to. a little. it does not compare to things like a cup of coffee in the morning, new shoes or a day to sleep in. but it is right up there with hitting all green lights or seeing that the bed is made when i get home. it does however give me a great sense of accomplishment. while it is only a mile to a mile and a half i can do it. i can do it without feeling like my head is spinning or my legs are going to fall off. i can do with consistent breath and no side cramps. it has become my escape for a few minutes where i get to chose the music, i decide where to go and how fast, and lucy the lab just tags along.

i hope to increase my distance soon. which i am sure will bring its own share of problems. self doubt, sore shins and a tired lucy the lab. but it will be good to push myself. right?

the diet is the hardest part for me....we can talk about that later.

here's to another week.

here it goes

i have decided to begin a new journey.


i want to lose weight! i fell as though i have been on this journey forever...the ups and downs of the ever chubby girl. so about a month ago i decided it was time to do something about this ever constant problem and i began to change my diet and consistently exercise more. i looked into and researched a safe weigh loss aid and have incorporated it into my lifestyle.

now i know you are thinking oh she is cheating by taking a pill...well only a little. the pills purpose is to assist you in losing weight but you still have to eat a low fat diet and work your butt off exercising.

so here i am - 3 weeks into taking the pill and have lost 7 pounds (woohoo!)

a friend challenged me to jog with her and i have. i even get up and go alone. so a mile here and a mile there can really make a girl feel great about herself!

my o so loving husband recently purchased wii active for me and i just finished my first full workout on it. the first of a 30 day challenge. i am sweating so much there will probably be a spot on the couch when i stand up. it was great!

so join me on this journey to go down a few sizes in jeans, feel better about myself and maybe accomplish some larger fitness goals...triathlon anyone?

keep on moving!

farmers market.

what do we know of holy....

I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?

What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life "its" name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?
- addison road. what do i know of holy.

a great escape.

This past weekend we packed up with some friends and headed up north to breathe fresh air, cook smores and see Gods beautiful creation.








it was great.

moms.

the excitement is building

we are moving in july.

again.

in the last five years i have moved at least seven times three of these times it was the middle of july. hot, humid, and sticky. last july was a completely different moving experience. i was moving into the apartment that would be the first home in my marriage. we had gifts to unpack and pictures to put up. things we wanted to upgrade and improve. all done as a we. together.

so this july we are relocating closer to the city we work in. it is about 45 minutes south of where we live now and is the town i grew up in. there is a small cottage like house that a friend of ours is renting to us. today we went down and measured the windows and some walls so that we can begin to slightly change it to reflect our tastes. like taking the 40 year old chicken wallpaper off the kitchen walls and repaint the cabinets. the bathroom needs some major loving which could be a bit of project. and the curtains need updating. a splash of this and sploosh of that and we will be all set. throw a dog in and call it home.

tomorrow we head to ikea to get inspired. simple solutions to tricky spaces. and they have food!

wish us well.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

would it be possible to find you right in the place where you are. to find you there, sitting, breathing, living, loving, and longing. to see you reaching, crying, broken and complete. Is there a chance that this would be okay. that you would know me enough to know that i love you there too.

do you think we could catch a train and ride from place to place, watching as the trees pass by. we would soak up each other, just where we were. not looking for anything else really, just honesty and companionship. we can hold fingers, like long lost friends, every once in a while I will take a deep breath and our shoulders will touch and I will smile, because it will remind me that i am living.

no one will pay attention to us. just two travelers, trying to escape the same distractions as everyone around us. every now and then you will say something funny. and I will laugh from my toes. it will make you smile. we will use our words to tell of things that words will never touch, but I will know what you are saying, and you will understand the underlying details of my petty thoughts. the spaces between us and within us will be filled with love, grace and hope.

I will see a house that I like and point it out to you, your head will nod in agreement. grassy fields will pass us by and call out our names, and like children we will long to run through them. but the train will pass them by, and that will be okay. with each city that passes us by, we leave another thing behind. a worry, a fear, another story…and one by one they will fly out the window, just leaving you and i. we will pretend to be residents in each of the small towns, looking in the windows of someone else’s life and seeing if any of the pieces fit. knowing all along that they don’t, but sometimes it is good to wonder.

i will wish to myself that the train would never stop, because it seems that for a moment we have left here and gone to there…but before I can finish my wish our stop is upon us. walking down the aisle, i can feel your fingers reach for mine. and I will think to myself about how much I love you just where you are. and maybe, just maybe, then you will understand.

does this thing have a reverse....

i began reading through my old xanga a few days ago and found my past.

so i think i will post some on here for a while.

hope you don't mind...whoever you are because i think i write (not often) to amuse myself.

back it up.

singing in the rain

it is raining.

rain speaks to my soul. it is the quiet voice that says it is ok, you can take a nap. or read a book. or sit and listen to the drip drop of each individual bit of water as it hits the ground below. or bake a cake for no reason. or watch a movie. twice.

rain gives me an excuse to do the things that i forget to make time for. they are all the things that i love to do but somehow in the shuffle of life they fall through the cracks hoping to someday be found again. they dream of rainy days. and now their time has come. march is just days away and here comes the lion and the lamb and all the spring flowers. and spring in michigan means rain.

praise the lord for rain.

surely goodness...follow me

i really had no idea what i was saying yes to when i got married. i had an understanding seeing as how i was raised by two people who were committed to each other and to their family. and a good amount of the people around me were married - for better or for worse. but what did this covenant mean for me.

forever. unconditionally loving someone else who is just as imperfect as i am. doing what is best for us rather than for me. patience and kindness always on the tip of my tongue. double the laundry and dishes.

and i know i don't have it all figured out - nor am i close to figuring it all out, i am however completely convinced that i am the luckiest girl in the world. not that this is a competition - i would hope that every girl has these feelings while around her boy.

anyway - sunday came and went...as did our first six months of marriage. And my life has been completely transformed. i feel as though every memory has brendon in it, i almost have to remind myself that he hasn't been a part of my life forever...for so long i wondered if this person would ever come along and now i have a hard time remembering time without him.

here's to six months. and now moving closer to forever.