the excitement is building

we are moving in july.

again.

in the last five years i have moved at least seven times three of these times it was the middle of july. hot, humid, and sticky. last july was a completely different moving experience. i was moving into the apartment that would be the first home in my marriage. we had gifts to unpack and pictures to put up. things we wanted to upgrade and improve. all done as a we. together.

so this july we are relocating closer to the city we work in. it is about 45 minutes south of where we live now and is the town i grew up in. there is a small cottage like house that a friend of ours is renting to us. today we went down and measured the windows and some walls so that we can begin to slightly change it to reflect our tastes. like taking the 40 year old chicken wallpaper off the kitchen walls and repaint the cabinets. the bathroom needs some major loving which could be a bit of project. and the curtains need updating. a splash of this and sploosh of that and we will be all set. throw a dog in and call it home.

tomorrow we head to ikea to get inspired. simple solutions to tricky spaces. and they have food!

wish us well.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

would it be possible to find you right in the place where you are. to find you there, sitting, breathing, living, loving, and longing. to see you reaching, crying, broken and complete. Is there a chance that this would be okay. that you would know me enough to know that i love you there too.

do you think we could catch a train and ride from place to place, watching as the trees pass by. we would soak up each other, just where we were. not looking for anything else really, just honesty and companionship. we can hold fingers, like long lost friends, every once in a while I will take a deep breath and our shoulders will touch and I will smile, because it will remind me that i am living.

no one will pay attention to us. just two travelers, trying to escape the same distractions as everyone around us. every now and then you will say something funny. and I will laugh from my toes. it will make you smile. we will use our words to tell of things that words will never touch, but I will know what you are saying, and you will understand the underlying details of my petty thoughts. the spaces between us and within us will be filled with love, grace and hope.

I will see a house that I like and point it out to you, your head will nod in agreement. grassy fields will pass us by and call out our names, and like children we will long to run through them. but the train will pass them by, and that will be okay. with each city that passes us by, we leave another thing behind. a worry, a fear, another story…and one by one they will fly out the window, just leaving you and i. we will pretend to be residents in each of the small towns, looking in the windows of someone else’s life and seeing if any of the pieces fit. knowing all along that they don’t, but sometimes it is good to wonder.

i will wish to myself that the train would never stop, because it seems that for a moment we have left here and gone to there…but before I can finish my wish our stop is upon us. walking down the aisle, i can feel your fingers reach for mine. and I will think to myself about how much I love you just where you are. and maybe, just maybe, then you will understand.

does this thing have a reverse....

i began reading through my old xanga a few days ago and found my past.

so i think i will post some on here for a while.

hope you don't mind...whoever you are because i think i write (not often) to amuse myself.

back it up.

singing in the rain

it is raining.

rain speaks to my soul. it is the quiet voice that says it is ok, you can take a nap. or read a book. or sit and listen to the drip drop of each individual bit of water as it hits the ground below. or bake a cake for no reason. or watch a movie. twice.

rain gives me an excuse to do the things that i forget to make time for. they are all the things that i love to do but somehow in the shuffle of life they fall through the cracks hoping to someday be found again. they dream of rainy days. and now their time has come. march is just days away and here comes the lion and the lamb and all the spring flowers. and spring in michigan means rain.

praise the lord for rain.

surely goodness...follow me

i really had no idea what i was saying yes to when i got married. i had an understanding seeing as how i was raised by two people who were committed to each other and to their family. and a good amount of the people around me were married - for better or for worse. but what did this covenant mean for me.

forever. unconditionally loving someone else who is just as imperfect as i am. doing what is best for us rather than for me. patience and kindness always on the tip of my tongue. double the laundry and dishes.

and i know i don't have it all figured out - nor am i close to figuring it all out, i am however completely convinced that i am the luckiest girl in the world. not that this is a competition - i would hope that every girl has these feelings while around her boy.

anyway - sunday came and went...as did our first six months of marriage. And my life has been completely transformed. i feel as though every memory has brendon in it, i almost have to remind myself that he hasn't been a part of my life forever...for so long i wondered if this person would ever come along and now i have a hard time remembering time without him.

here's to six months. and now moving closer to forever.

the king of cute...

Check out this little man who has a habit of making my heart turn into a puddle and my voice change into a funny high pitched noise that just isn't normal.

oh goodness.

i am in need of no reminder... i have been told and retold that i am awful at this.

i rarely update and when i do my posts lack the enthusiasm that i wish they had.

life gets in the way. as i am sure it does with everyone else too but somehow, someway they make it work. my fellow bloggers sit down, spill their guts, say their piece, hit publish and walk away to scratch one more thing off their to do list.

i can't even find my to do list. let alone my computer.

our office is a disaster zone (not to say that my husbands afternoon spent cleaning went to waste because he did a great job - i can now see the top of his desk and can get to mine without tripping over something). but disaster zones and i do not mix. oil and water. so i avoid the office, which makes me avoid the computer, and my little hopeful blog gets ignored once again.

when we moved into our wonderful apartment this room became the "i don't know where this goes or what to do with it" room. everywhere else is comfy and warm and everything a home that contains sarah and brendon should be. and it isn't so much that we have neglected our duties as responsible apartment owners (which means you use your space wisely because there isn't much) but it really boils down to...almost three months ago we go hitched, took a little vacation and a deep breath. no sooner than we crossed over the ohio michigan border did i get a call for a job interview. then that process began and god blessed me with an amazing job. i worked the old and the new for about a week during which my sister decided to have her baby.

now i am playing catch up. learning the new job and giving most of my energy. the rest gets poured into brendon. and everyone else gets leftovers....sorry!

i will get back on track. soon. i promise. i think it will all begin with cleaning this darn office.

we did however take a brief road trip to visit the in-laws in celebration of my dear husbands birthday. we did an orchard day. take a look.